


You saved me

by LoLecter



Category: Sherlock (TV) RPF
Genre: Benedict parent are awesome, Bisexual Character, Bullying, Freebatch but not really, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homosexual, M/M, Out magazine interview, friends to lover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 15:12:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2472770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoLecter/pseuds/LoLecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a recent interview Benedict talked about how he stopped four boys who where bullying another boy for being gay. I decided to write what could have happened from the perspective of the boy and this is the story of "what if they had became friends after that". The real summary would go something like that:<br/>Ryan has been constatly bullied since he was found in his room with an other boy. One day an older boy named Ben stop four boys from beating him up and befriend him, presenting him to his friends and protecting him from then on. Years later they are still friends  and when Benedict has to deal with his own sexuality he is there for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You saved me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this story happened. At first I just wanted to write something about how Ben saved this boy from getting beat up and then it turned out into this giant monster.  
> I don't have a beta reader and english is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes.  
> Of course the prinripal idea of the story is based on a real fact, but the story is complete fiction and if I really have to tell you that for you to know that I don't know what to say to you.

Ryan had turned 16 last month and already he could tell this year was going to be horrible. Two weeks ago he had been caught in bed with another boy in his room. The school didn’t do anything in those cases and counted on the bullying that would surely follow to be punitive enough. Contrary to the boys who were caught with a girl boys caught with others boys didn’t mean expulsion. It would have been too easy. He could have just started over somewhere else.

No, they wanted him to stay and live with the shame and harassment. Thomas, the boy who he had been caught with, had stopped talking to him altogether and was trying to convince everyone he had been high and did not know what he was doing. It was not true at all, but Ryan understood why he lied. They had been in a “relationship”, if you could call it that, for 3 months when they had got caught. They had already slept together a couple of times without anyone walking on them and had become careless. Thomas had reacted very badly and the idea of everyone knowing had made him very angry. At first he had blamed Ryan like he had not been a willing participant too and it was all his fault. After when he had calmed down he had told to him that he was sorry, but they could not see each other anymore.

Being a little bit in love with him it had hurt, but he had had so many other things to worries at that time that he had not really had time to feel too sad for the lost. He had been worried about everyone reaction and his parents. His mother had reacted relatively well. She was sad, but not very surprised in the end. His father had acted awkwardly and like it had only been a onetime thing. A mistake he would laugh about when he was married to a girl in a couple of year. He didn’t dare to correct him.

The rest of the school had not reacted as well. His friends had all stopped talking to him after a day. Not necessarily because they were disgusted by what he was, but because they wanted to avoid being bullied too just for hanging out with him. Every boy who was seen talking to him was considered a potential boyfriend of his and incidentally a new victim to harass. 

He understood. They were afraid. Like Thomas. That didn’t make him less angry the first days, but he eventually let it go. He was constantly insulted when he walked in the corridors. “Faggot” “Cocksucker” “Do you take it in the ass?” In class he received ball of paper, pen or various little object if he was stupid enough not to sit in the back. All of this he could have handled. He knew it would eventually calm down. What he hated was the constant fear. The first day he had avoided going to the toilet while they were other boys, but the second day he could not contain himself anymore and went between two classes. He was pushed often in the corridor by people who acted as if they had not seen him, but what happened was very different from that. Three boys took hold of him and put his head in a toilet bowl.

Two days later he was beaten by two boys behind the dormitory after school. Nothing too serious, but he still looked like a racoon and had bruises all over his chest. It happened again the next week, but this time he ended up at the nursery with a broken nose and blood all over his shirt. The nurse was very nice to him and proposed to go talk to the headmaster, but he refused. He knew the boys would not be punished severely and would take it out on him if he talked.

The insults had died down a little, normal people becoming bored of it, but the bullies didn’t seem to get tired of hurting him. He lived in constant fear of being jumped on and getting beaten or being done any humiliating thing they had thought of last. Really, he was in hell. The boy who shared his room didn’t talk to him at all and only came to their room at curfew to leave as soon as possible in the morning so he could have spend all his time in his room hiding, but he had homework to do, clothes to wash and he had to eat.

He was coming back from the library where he had spent his afternoon doing homework on Sunday afternoon when he was spotted by four boys. One of them had helped to beat him up one time already and he looked keen to try again with his new friends. Ryan knew the look by now. One of them screamed “Hey Faggot!” at him and they all started to run toward him. He was shit at fighting, but thankfully he knew how to run so that was what he did. He started running toward his dormitory hoping he would get to his room before they got to him. Once he was inside they would leave him alone. They was always a supervisor in the building and they would not dare to hurt him in front of him.

Unless he was busy elsewhere which considering the day and time was a very real possibility. Damn. He got there and in the corridor leading to the rooms almost tackled another boy because he did not see him. He looked behind him and saw the four boys entering the building. He apologized quickly and went on running. The boy looked at him confused as to why he was looking so scared and then he saw his pursuers.

Ryan was already at the end of the corridor, but he still heard the boy stop them.  
“Stop, stop, stop, stop!”  
The three boys stopped out of breath and he himself stopped and hid behind the wall of the corridor going to the right instead of going up like he had planned.  
“What just happened?” the boy asked to his four pursuers.  
“It’s the boy who was caught in his room with another boy. We’re going to teach him a lesson.”  
“He was caught having sex with another man! He is a faggot.” another one added. He must have made face that showed disgust because they assumed he shared their opinion.  
“I know. It’s disgusting, isn’t it?”

Ryan heart stopped in his chest. Damn it. He was almost ready to start running again when he heard:  
“No, your behavior is fucking disgusting. How would you feel if you were chased because you have a turban, or you were chased because of the color of your skin, or your religion? It’s about being an individual. You can’t tolerate that? Are you sick in the head?”  
It was true that none of his pursuers where white. One was black, one Sikh, one Indian and the other one he was not sure. In any case it was ironic that they would have been the one being chased for who they were maybe only a couple of years ago. He would have never dared to mention that to them, but the boy had and now he was going to be assumed gay too. Why else would he defend him?  
“What? No!”  
“Why are you defending him? Are you gay?”  
It was true that no one had had the courage to stand up for him yet and it was understandable if anytime you tried you were assumed to be homosexual too.  
“No, but I can clearly see that you’re bullies. You are just horrible human beings. Now, get out of here! It’s not your dormitory building. You have no right to be here.”

“And why would we listen to you?”  
“Because I know where the supervisor is and I’m pretty sure he would not allow you four to come in just to beat up some poor kid.”  
“Asshole.” One of them whispered under his breath before going back.  
They had actually listened to him and were getting out. It was a miracle. He should have gone to thank the boy immediately, but he didn’t dare move. He just let himself slide on the floor, sat against the wall, and took a deep breath. He was safe. For the moment at least. He would not get beat up today.

He heard the steps in the corridor, but he didn’t connect them with the boy who had just saved him. He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard:  
“Are you ok?”  
He was standing in front of him, looking at him with a mix of awkwardness, compassion and anger.  
“Yes. Thank you.”  
“My name is Ben. What’s yours?”  
He recognized him now. He was a year older than him and did theater. People often mocked him for his name, but he never seemed to mind very much. He had seen him around often.  
“Ryan.”  
“I’m sorry about them.”  
“It’s ok. At least they didn’t get to me this time thanks to you.”

His black eyes from the last time he had gotten beat up was still not healed completely and he saw that Ben guessed it was not something unusual for him to be chased and hurt by bullies. Ryan could not stop himself from asking:  
“Why did you stop them?”  
Nobody had stood up for him yet and Ben had done it like it was nothing when he was alone against four boys.   
“Because you should not be attacked for who you are.”  
“That’s not what most people think and even if they think that they never do anything about it.”  
“Well they are coward.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question thought. Why don’t you think I’m disgusting like all of them?”  
“My parents are actor and a lot of their friends are gay, lesbian or even bisexual. I was raised to think everyone should be able to love who they want.”  
“And you? Are...are you? I mean I’m not saying you look like it or anything I just...” Ryan stuttered, afraid of offending Ben with the question.

The older boy only laughed.  
“Don’t worry I’m not offended by the question. I do theater and I played a fairy in last year show. That’s enough to give anyone doubts.”  
Oh. He remembered that. Ben had been very good as the fairy and a lot of people had teased him after it, but it had been nothing serious since he had had a girlfriend at the time. Nobody had seriously doubted his sexual orientation.  
“No, I’m not gay.”  
“Oh. Ok.”  
It was stupid to hope he shared his orientation. He had been lucky enough to find one boy who liked boys too. It was not that he was attracted to Ben. Yes, he was cute, funny, nice, and talented and all in all he would never reject him if he was interested in him, but he had not hoped for that. He just felt so alone and he desperately wanted to find other people like him with whom he could talk.

Seeing he did not look like he was about to move Ben sat on the floor in front of him.  
“If I tell you something do you promise to keep it to yourself? Nobody knows. No even my best friend.”  
“I don’t know who I could tell. I don’t have any friends left.”  
“Fair enough, but when you get new friends.”  
“I swear I won’t tell anyone.”  
“Alright then. I.... I think I might be bisexual.”  
Ryan froze. So he was not gay, but he was still not straight. It was already something. Maybe they could understand and help each other with it.  
“I mean I love girls. Very much. But sometimes I... I see a guy and.... I...”  
“You’re attracted to him?”  
“Yes. But it’s rare. It only happened two times and I feel attracted to girls all the time.”  
“Maybe you’re bisexual with a preference.”  
“Yeah. I think that too.”  
“Thank you for telling me. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Ben smiled at him and nodded appreciative.  
“Do you plan on staying here all night?” he asked Ryan, amused referring to the fact that they were still seated on the floor in the middle of an empty corridor.  
“No, sorry.” He responded, embarrassed and got up.  
“Have you eaten yet? He demanded after getting up too.  
“No. Why?”  
“Well maybe you could come eat with me and my friends.”  
“Wouldn’t they mind you bringing a... well me?”  
“No, they won’t. Believe me.”

And they indeed didn’t mind Benedict (He learned his complete name from them) bringing Ryan with him. Maybe it was because they all did theater or they were just more open minded, but none of them cared about his sexuality. They had heard about what had happened and seen other people insult him in the school, but they had never dared to intervene. After meeting him however they started to. He didn’t expect them to. The simple fact that they were ok with being seen in public with him was a lot so when they started to talk back to people insulting him or go with him to places when he was scared because some boys had beat him up there before he felt like kissing all of them. It made him so happy to have friends who cared about him and defended him that he suddenly didn’t care anymore about all the insults or the looks.

Most of them where a year older than Ryan, like Ben. After two days hanging out with them he learned that one of them who was called Tom was gay too. He had been with his boyfriend (who went to another school) for three years. Tom and him became really good friends. Benedict was not the one he spent the most time with, but the time they did spend together was always special. Ben made him feel safe and happy like no one else.

A couple of months after meeting him he suspected he might have developed a bit of a crush on him, but since he knew it was hopeless and it would ruin their friendship he ignored it. The only thing he allowed himself was to ask him about what he had told him when they had first met.

They were alone, both sat on Ben’s bed, smoking some weed when he said:  
“Ben, can I ask you something?”  
“Yes. Of course.”  
“You remember what you told me when we first met. Why did you never tell anyone else? I mean your friends are open minded. I’m sure they would not mind.”  
Benedict was a bit taken aback by the question. He looked pensive for a minute or so and Ryan waited patiently.  
“I think... it’s because I know most people will just assume I’m gay. Not a lot of people actually believe in bisexuality. Also I’m afraid girls won’t want to go out with me if they learn I like guys too sometimes.”  
“I think I understand, but why tell me? Of all people...”  
“I just felt like I could trust you. I still feel like it. Like I could tell you anything and you would understand. Also sometimes it’s easier to talk to stranger about this kind of thing than the people we know, you know?”  
“Yeah.”

“See, I knew you would understand. You always understand.” And then Ben proceeded to put his head on his shoulder and hide his face in his neck. He took a big breath that sounded like happiness and comfort. Benedict always became very physical when he smoked. It was one of the reasons Ryan loved to take pot with him so much.  
“If you ever meet a guy you like and you want a relationship with him will you tell them then? Your friends and your parent I mean.”  
“Yes. I just don’t see the point in telling them before that. It’s just not relevant.”  
Ryan didn’t know if he agreed with that or not, but he understood so he placed his arms around Ben shoulders and squeezed his arm gently.

Benedict and Tom finished school one year sooner than him, but they did not leave him completely alone. The friends of the group who were in his years were still there and there were some knew boys in the drama club who started to hang out with them. Thomas the boy with whom he had been caught two years ago had had a panoply of girlfriends since then, but Ryan could see in his eyes that he was not really happy. He himself had not been with any other boys because he did not meet anyone interesting and interested, but he still did not hide his preference. He did not scream who he liked on the roof, but if people asked he told them the truth.

The summer before he went to university two really nice things happened. First, his father finally accepted that his son would never marry a girl and second, he met Benedict’s parent when he came to his house for his anniversary. His parents were great and it turned out they had never been told how he and Ben had met. When he told them his mother felt immensely proud of her son and went to hug him before proceeding to hug Ryan too because “Poor boy. It must have been such a hard time for you.”. He found himself wishing he could have had parents like them often during the day. They had accepted him, but there was still a distance between them that he could not break. They felt uncomfortable with him and it hurt.

Ben saw the way he looked at his parents and the sadness in his eyes. They talked often enough that he knew how he felt about his relationship with his own. At one point during the night, he went to him, placing an arm around his shoulder and holding him in silence until he felt better. Not caring what people would think he placed his head on his shoulder like Ben often did with him when they were alone and drunk or high. After a couple of minutes, feeling better he got out of the embrace and thanked him. His friend responded with a warm “Anytime”.

The years passed and Benedict and him both stayed friends no matter how busy they both got. They sometimes didn’t see each other more than a couple of times a year, but they never lost contact. Ryan went to university to study literature and Ben went to become an actor. Benedict met Olivia and Ryan met David. Three years later him and David broke up while Ben and Olivia stayed strong.  His friend was there for him after the break up and they went to travel together for a month during the summer.

When Benedict got the call for Sherlock years later Ryan was working in edition and was with a man named Richard. He and Ben had started to see each other more often since they both had a more free time. He was there when Ben started to get recognized in public more often and went from almost invisible to nationally famous. At the same time his relationship with Olivia started to get complicated. His friend really wanted children and a family, but Olivia was focused on her career and in the end they chose to just end things. Ryan found that his friend was less sad than he would have expected considering how long they had been together. Ben admitted to him that there had been other reasons and that he was not really in love with her anymore in the end.

Ryan found it funny how after Sherlock everyone suddenly realized how attractive Benedict was. He even told him one day.  
“It’s true that the dark curls are a very good look on you, but you were always attractive. I don’t know why is it that they only noticed now.”  
The compliment made the actor blush and he said that he wished people would have thought like that when he was 17. Feeling a bit drunk and secure that his friend would not react badly he answered him that he already thought him very attractive at 17 and if he had been interested back then he would not have bathed a eye lash before saying yes to him. Benedict laughed out loud and kissed him on the cheek later saying he had though him attractive too. To his defense he was very drunk at that point.

Since starting on Sherlock Ben looked generally more happy and excited about life, but Ryan had always assumed it was only because he loved doing Sherlock and the show was so loved. However, after a while he started to be a bit more often lost in his own thought and he sometimes had this sadness in his eyes. When he learned that they would start to film season 2 soon he had two main reactions that confused his friend a lot. He looked both very happy (more happy than usual for this kind of thing) and nervous. And not the “I am nervous about work” kind of nervous. He had been friend with the man since he was 17. He knew him.  There was something he was not telling him. 

 

One week before the shooting started they both went out to the theater and then to Ben’s place for the rest of the night. Benedict looked a bit more tense than usual before he said something that reminded him a lot of their first meeting.  
“Ryan, I need to tell you something, but you need to promise you won’t tell anyone. Nobody can know.”  
“Of course I promise. You know you can trust me.”  
Ben took a big mouthful of his wine glass before saying:  
“I think I am in love with a man.”  
Since he didn’t seem like he was about to add anything Ryan said:  
“And... is it a good thing or bad thing?”  
His friend laughed sadly.  
“Considering who it is I would say it’s a bad thing.”  
“Why? Doesn’t he like man? Because if he does I am sure he will like you back. I don’t see how he could not.” He winked at his friend to try and lift up his mood. Ben gave him a contrived smile.  
“I don’t think he likes men, no, but that’s not even the biggest problem. He is in couple. They have been together for 10 years and they have children.”  
“I am sorry” Ryan placed his hand on Ben’s hand and squeezed it.  
“He only sees me as a friend really” Ben continued. He obviously had a lot on his mind and he needed to tell all of this to one person at least before going back to see that person every day, all the time.  
“His partner and the children are great. They all like me a lot. I don’t think I would even want him to want me too. I would never want to destroy his family, but I can’t help how I feel about him.”

“For how long have you felt that way for him?”  
“Well I met him a year ago, but I didn’t immediately fall for him. At first I thought I just liked him like a friend. Then I realized I was attracted to him and... I don’t know how or when it happened, but I fell in love with him and only realized it a couple of months ago.”  
“Can I ask who it is?”  
Ryan already had a fairly good idea of who it might be based on what he had heard, but he found it more polite to ask.  
“It’s Martin, but you probably already had doubts.” He answered.  
“Well, I would lie if I said you didn’t talk about him often.”

Ben laughed sadly.  
“God, Am I that obvious?”  
“Don’t worry you are not. I have just known you for a very long time. I don’t think anyone else has guessed.”  
“I hope so or it will be an awkward couple of months.”  
“Normally I would tell you to put some distance between you and him so you can get try to forget him, but since you will have to spend almost all your time with him for the next months or so....”  
“I know. I don’t know how I’m going to do it.”  
“I know you’re busy when you’re on a shooting, but if you ever feel like talking or venting or just telling me how kissable he looked today and how much it’s driving you crazy you can call me anytime.“  
Ben smiled at him.  
“Thank you. I will remember it.”

Even if Benedict was relatively close to Martin and had knows him for a year Ryan had never actually met him. He had never been that curious to meet him until Ben confession, but now that he knew he really wanted to see the man that had his friend going crazy. During the shoot of the first two episodes of season two Ben texted him a couple of times and called him two times to vent his frustration. He was not angry against Martin or Amanda. He was only angry at himself and Ryan tried to remind him that it was not his fault he should not hate himself for how he felt. Even if Martin knew he would never hate him for it he was sure of that.

The summer came and with it Ben’s birthday. Ryan organized a little party for him at his parents place and included Martin and Amanda on the list of guest. At first he was not sure he should, but his friend assured him it was alright and he was too close to Martin at this stage to not invite him without looking like an asshole or like he was angry at him. Ryan came in advance with Richard, who had always liked Benedict a lot and whom Ben liked too, and helped Wanda cook and prepare the place. He considered Benedict’s mother a bit like a second mother and seeing her being so nice with Richard, his boyfriend of three years, always made him feel very warm inside.

The night went very well and Ben looked very happy. He talked a lot with Martin and when he was not talking with him his eyes often searched for him. At one point during the night when Ryan was looking at Ben who was trying to stop himself from looking at Martin Wanda came to him with a sad, knowing look.  
“He is in love with him, isn’t he? “  
Ryan froze. How did she know? Was she really talking about Martin? Would Ben be angry if he answered?  
“You don’t have to worry about betraying Ben’s trust. I guessed some time ago he was in love with Martin. You only have to see the way he is with him or how he looks at him every time he can’t see him.”  
He sighed.  
“Yeah, I know.”

“Martin is a great man, but I think if he knew he would be more careful how he acts.”  
“yeah, I know what you mean.”  
“I suppose you are helping him the best you can.”  
“Yes, but there is not a lot I can do besides being there for him.”  
“It’s already a lot dear.”  
She kissed him on the cheek and went to see others guest.

Ryan found himself talking to Martin at one point during the night, but not necessarily because he wanted to. Even if he was curious to get to know the man a part of him was a bit annoyed at Martin for making his friend suffer so much without being aware of it. He knew it was not his fault and it was totally stupid, but he still felt protective of Ben.  Martin knew who he was already when he presented himself.  
“Oh you’re the Ryan he has known since secondary school?”  
At some point in the conversation he made a joke about how he had seen Ben playing a fairy in one of his first show and Martin laughed very much and told him he would tease Ben endlessly about it for the next two months at least.

He didn’t know how exactly it came in the conversation, but at some point he mentioned how he had met Ben or in other words how he had saved him from being beat up by four boys. Martin had a little smile that he had not seen yet and asked in a little voice: “Really?” before looking for Ben with his eyes. When he found him his gaze was full of love and Ryan would have almost thought he felt the same about his friend if he had not been so very in love with his partner.

When everyone had left him and Ben went to sat on the grass outside together.  
“After you finish filming season two I think you should take some distance. It would help you.”  
“I know.”  
“If it helps I think I understand what you see in him.”  
Benedict smiled, but didn’t say anything.

The next three years were totally crazy for Benedict. He started to spend so much time working he was rarely in London and the word holiday was barely in his vocabulary anymore. He buried himself into his work to get over his heartbreak and it worked. He became internationally known and before he had to start filming for season three of Sherlock he was over Martin. Well, mostly. He still had a bit of a weakness for him and he didn’t like to touch him too much.

During this time Ryan boyfriend got a job offer to go work in the states and since Ryan didn’t want to leave England they broke up. They both loved each other very much, but they knew that they would not be able to make their relationship work with the distance. It was Ben turn to be there for his friend. He tried to see him when he could ( he worked a lot ) and he sent him an original copy of one of his favorite book by Oscar Wilde signed by the man himself knowing it would make him very happy. In the end he went to Wanda and Timothy for comfort. They both considered him a bit like a second son so they were glad to spend some time with him.

Things didn’t calm down for Ben, but he got a bit more work in the UK so Ryan was able to see him more often during the next couple of months. Ben invited him to join him in a couple of his travel and he had a great time. Sherlock season three came out and they both watched the episodes together. He stopped himself from commenting until the last episode when he could not stop himself from asking his friend if he was still in love with Martin and it showed through his acting or if it was really in the storyline for Sherlock to look so in love with John.

Benedict laughed and said it was done on purpose and no he was no longer in love with Martin. He could not deny he still liked him a lot, but it didn’t hurt anymore to know that he would never be with him. Ryan felt relieved.

In the next months he tried dating a bit, but he never really met someone who really caught his attention. He slept with a man one night, but it ended up being disappointing for both of them so he decided he would stop trying to date for a while and just spend time with his friend. Benedict and him had become even closer if it was possible. They were more tactile with each other and would often touch each other for no other reasons than they could do it. There was no sexual tension of any kind between them. They just found comfort and reassurance in each other’s touch.

When they celebrated Ben’s birthday during the summer Timothy even asked him innocently if they were together now. Ben was torn between annoyance and amusement while Ryan just said that no they were not with a polite smile. His friend hated for people to assume or joke that they were together just because they were a bit physical with each other and Ryan was gay. He suspected that really his annoyance had come from the fact that a lot of people had made joke about him and Martin and it had hurt him each time because it reminded him how not true it was. Since then he had just become allergic to people assumptions and bad joke. 

Wanda said to Ben that in any case if they were together one day she would be very happy for the both of them. The two men looked at each other amused and later that night Benedict looked a bit more awkward then usual around him. Ryan tried not to think about what it could mean.

Benedict started promoting his movie _The imitation game_ and did an interview for Out magazine in October. Ryan did not usually read his friend’s interview, but this time Wanda called him to tell him to read it. At first he didn’t understand why she had asked him to read it except to see that Benedict still sounded a bit bitter about Martin in the way that he talked about those fanart and fanfiction of John and Sherlock having sex. He knew his friends found them half part amusing and flattering and half part annoying because it was like his personal fantasy had been taken out of the privacy of his head put into the internet. He could go and read thousands and thousands of stories of their characters having sex or see drawings and that had made him very annoyed at one point when he was trying to get over Martin. It just didn’t help. However, he doubted Wanda would have called him just for that.

Then he got to the part about himself. Or more precisely how Benedict had stood up to the boys running after him. He was surprised to see that the man remembered it as well. It had been approximately 20 years since they had met. He wondered for a moment if he remembered the rest as well and it hit him that he had been in Benedict life for 21 years. He knew it before of course, but it was like he had never really realized it. That cute older boy who did theater had saved him at barely 16 and since then had never stopped being his friend.  He felt an urge to hug his friend and thank him so he called him.

“So you talked about me in an interview. Or technically how we met, but you know same thing.”  
“Yes, I did” his friend answered laughing. “Although I left out the part where I go and admit to you that I’m bisexual.”  
“Pity, It would have been the perfect interview to do it. Being for the Out magazine and all.” He said joking.  
He felt more than heard Ben unease at the subject. “Yes, you’re right” he said laughing, but it didn’t sound sincere. Had he been thinking about coming out for real? Did he not want to think about it because he never planned on coming out? He didn’t ask him and assumed he would surely know someday.

They saw each other at Ben’s place that night. They drank beer and watched movies something they didn’t really do that often considering. They were more the kind to go to the theater, museum, a small restaurant, or go running or swimming.  That night however they both felt like not seeing anyone. They ate pizza and drank a bit too much sitting together on the sofa. After the first movie Ryan was leaning against Ben, his head on his friend chest. He was a bit smaller and thinner than him so it was easier this way than the other way even if when they were younger Ben had loved to use him as a pillow. Ben placed a hand on his head and started to caress his hair gently, probably not even realizing what he was doing.

If someone had asked him what the second movie was about he would not have been able to say much about it. Ben hand on his hair and his body against his was all he had been able to think about.  He was starting to get hard by the end of it and hoped his friend would not notice. The movie ended and neither of them moved not wanting to break the moment. He felt Ben breathing accelerate and he knew that he was not the only one feeling like this. Not daring to raise his head yet he caressed his friend’s chest slowly with his hand causing a deep sigh. A big hand went under his chin and raised his head tentatively. The moment his eyes met Ben he felt like a teenager again. He could not have said who went for it first. All he knew was that he ended up kissing the other man lips and wondered why the hell he had never done that before. The kiss got more intense and soon they were making out on the sofa like teenagers, both touching each other erection through their jeans and trying to get the more friction possible.

Ryan had the presence of mind to stop before they went too far and asked:  
 “Are you sure?”  
“We both want it and we’re too drunk to have a long discussion about it right now so yes I’m sure. We can talk tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy tonight.”  
Not seeing any objection to Ben argumentation Ryan kissed him again. They both needed it at the moment. They would be time to talk later. If they only had tonight then so be it. If Ben wanted to stay friend and forget about it after he would not argue, but that would not stop it from enjoying tonight.

They agreed to go upstairs, in Ben’s room, when he nearly came in his pant. He didn’t want to come with his clothes on, on the sofa and Ben either apparently. Once they were both naked and on the bed he asked him if he had any condoms. Apparently he had not had sex in a while and he had been tested so he was clean. Ryan said that he had been clean when he last got tested, but he had had sex one time since then. Ben asked him if he had used protection and when he said yes he kissed him fiercely.  
“Then we can do without.”  
“You just don’t have any do you?” he asked amused.  
Benedict gave him that smile he had when he knew he had done something bad, but he didn’t care.  
“No. Sorry. Do you mind very much?”  
“No. It’s ok.”

He then proceeded to show him how ok it was by rolling Ben on his back and putting his dick in his mouth. Considering how hard he already was and the amount of alcohol they had consumed he lasted admirably long before coming in Ryan mouth with the sexiest sound he had ever heard. When Benedict went to put him in his mouth too he stopped him:  
“I know you don’t have as much experience with men. You don’t have to use your mouth if you don’t want to.”  
Ben only answer was to suck the tips of his cock with enthusiast while using his hand for the rest of his shaft. It was a good compromise.

He did not come in the other man mouth (not that he had expected it), but he surprised him by licking some of the come on his stomach afterward and declaring in an amused tone:  
“Not too bad.”  
His body full of endorphin and still a bit drunk Ryan found it a lot funnier than it really was.  
“Excuse me! Have you tasted yourself?” he said in a fake hurt tone.  
Ben laughed and answered:  
“I am sure I am no better.”  
They kissed each other and giggled like two idiots in the kiss. When their laugher had calmed down Benedict went to take a little towel in the bathroom and washed the rest of the come on his stomach before lying down next to him. Ryan laid half on top of his friend, using his shoulder as a pillow.  
“I lied. You taste really good.” He whispered sleepily in Ben’s neck.  
“You too.” He answered his eyes closed, while caressing his younger friend back.

When he woke up Ryan felt a naked body pressed against his back and a strong arm around his waist. So it had not been a dream then. He had really slept with his best friend. A man he had known for more than half of his life. He felt Benedict move in his sleep so he used the opportunity to turn around and lie against him, placing his head on his heart to listen to his slow beating. He knew the man had awoken when he felt a hand caress his hair. He looked up and saw Ben looking at him with a loving smile.  
“Are you ok?” Ryan asked him worried.  
“Why would I not be? You give fantastic blowjob.” He said with a little smirk.  
“Yeah well I have a bit of practice” he answered smiling.  
“Do you think I could become as good as you with a little practice?”  
“Depend with whom you intend to practice.”  
“Do you know any good teacher?”  
“Yes, I think I might” he told him with the same amused tone before kissing Ben laughing mouth.

Standing on one elbow he then caressed Ben chest and while looking at the pale skin he asked:  
“So... would you be interested in having sex again or do you want to go back to being friend?”  
“I think we can keep having sex and still remain friends. My parents are friends too after all.”   
Ryan looked at him confused.  
“So you are suggesting...”  
“I am suggesting that we try to be together and see what happens. Would that be ok with you?”  
Ryan swallowed difficultly.  
“Yes, yes that would be very ok with me.”  
Ben smiled warmly at him and Ryan went to hide his face in his neck, half lying on him. After a little while he asked worried that his friend might be wanting to get up:  
“Do you want to get up or...?”  
“No. Stay like this. I missed being held like that.”  
“Yeah, me too.”

And with that they started dating each other. At first there was not a lot different except that they often ended the night by shagging in Benedict or Ryan room. They did not tell anyone, but they didn’t exactly hide either. They never kissed or held hand in public, but if Ben felt like touching his leg under the table at a restaurant or touching his shoulder as he passed him he did not stop himself. Thankfully they already were very physical as friends in the past so nobody noticed anything and if they did they assumed that it was just their strange friendship. 

After a month or so of being together, exploring each other and getting comfortable they almost got caught kissing in public and that forced them to discuss if they wished to keep their relationship secret or not. Ben was not against telling his family and friends, but he was not ready to tell the media and general public yet which Ryan understood perfectly. The first people they told were Benedict parents and Wanda was so happy he thought she was going to start planning the wedding. They understood Ben needs for privacy and to Ben surprise didn’t ask him any question about his sexuality. He said he was bisexual and he had known for a long time, but had not seen the point in telling anyone until he was in a relationship with a man. His mother smiled and said she had known for a while, but had wanted to respect his wish to keep it to himself.

When they left Ryan told Ben about how she had guessed he was in love with Martin when the man had come to his birthday.  
“Why did you never tell me?”  
“Because I knew you didn’t want anyone to know and you would have felt ashamed.”

Benedict could not argue with that so he kissed him instead and thanked him for being there for him when he had needed it. After that they told a couple of their friends including Tom their old friend from school. He was not surprised at all and said it was about time they slept together. The only one left who didn’t know were some of Benedict friends like Martin, Amanda and Mark Gatiss. He knew the moment he told Mark he would have to tell Martin so it was why he was retarding it, but they were going to begin the filming of the Sherlock Christmas special soon and he really wanted to tell them before that.

If he didn’t Ryan would not be able to visit him on set or he would have to hide when he came to see him and stayed with him in his hotel room. He could have done it easily of course, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t put pressure for Ben to do it and only suggested that he could be there with him when he told them if he wished. His boyfriend (he was still not used to using that term) thanked him, but he wanted to do it himself. He _needed_ to be able to do it himself. Ryan suggested that he invite Martin and Amanda to eat with them and told them during the way to his house. Like that he would tell them himself like he wanted and then get to deal with their reaction with a bit or support.

A part of Ryan also wanted to see Martin reaction to them being together. He knew the man was not exactly a threat and had never been one since he was married and not interested in Benedict that way, but he still wanted to show that Ben was his now. Finally it was what Ben did. He invited them for supper at his house and went to get them himself with Ryan car (he didn’t have one himself) while Ryan prepared things at home. At first they insisted to come them self, but Ben insisted and said in a serious tone that he had something to tell them and he wanted to be alone with them for that. Martin didn’t insist.

When Ben arrived with both of them looking nervous, but still happy Ryan relaxed. Amanda had a even bigger smile than usual and Martin looked like he was trying too much not to care, but all in all it was not bad. He shook hands with Martin warily, but he was reassured when the man gave him a warm smile. Pretending they had thing to do in the kitchen before bringing the food Benedict and Ryan escaped in the kitchen leaving their guest at the table. He asked his boyfriend how things had gone.

At first he had told them he was in a relationship and when Amanda smiling and a bit obvious had asked “Do we know her?” Ben had corrected her. “It is a him. You met him at two of my birthday party. It’s Ryan, my old friend.”  
Martin had more or less guessed it would be a man when Ben had told them he was in a relationship in a serious tone. If it had been a girl he would not have needed to announce them in such an official setting. He didn’t know how he felt exactly about it, but not because he minded his friend being bisexual or whatever he was. He was just rethinking about some things that had happened in the past and his own feeling at some point when he had felt a little bit of attraction for the man. Of course he would have never acted on it being with Amanda and anyhow he was sure that Benedict was straight back then. Apparently he had been mistaken on that.

After a while Martin had smiled and said “I’m happy for you mate.” He had hugged Benedict tightly, whispering: “You did not think that we would mind did you?”  
“I...”  
“I love you Ben and I don’t care if you are with a man or a woman. As long as you are happy.”  
Benedict had had tears in his eyes and murmured a little “Thank you” full of emotion. Amanda after her surprise had been very happy for him too.

Hearing that made Ryan love Martin a whole more than he did an hour ago.  
The dinner went really well. He loved Amanda and Martin was really funny when he wanted. Watching Ben and Martin interact he saw the immense love between the two men, but he did not feel jealous. He knew that Ben loved him and that Martin was very happy with Amanda. They were just the kind of people who automatically clicked and who could not help, but being comfortable with each other. Even if he had wanted to be jealous Ben hand on his tight for half of the supper and his constant smile and look would have reassured him.  The little happy smile he had when he kissed his head getting up to bring the plate in the kitchen was enough proof that he loved him.

After the meal was over Martin proposed to help him clean the table while Amanda went in the living room with Benedict to continue their conversation about Joe (their son) last adventure at school. Ryan found it a little strange that Martin would propose to help him and he assumed the man just wanted to talk to him alone. He was proved right once they were alone in the kitchen.  
“Ryan can I ask you something?”  
“Yes, of course.” He said in a curious, but a little suspicious tone.  
“I am gonna be frank here. You never seemed to like me in the past. You went out of your way to avoid me and you were never very enthusiast when talking to me. I just wanted to know why?”

“I am sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I just always felt very protective of Ben.”  
“You mean you were jealous?”  
“No, I had no romantic feeling towards him at the time.”  
“Then... I don’t understand.”  
Ryan felt conflicted. It was not his place to tell Martin about Ben secret, but at the same time he did not feel the same anymore and they were together now. He didn’t want to lie to Martin and he did not see any way of explaining his anger without telling the truth.   
“Let’s just say that if I had had romantic feelings at the time I would have had reasons to feel jealous of you.”  
“But we never...You mean he....” Martin looked frozen in shock. Probably more surprised than he had been when Ben had told him he was seeing a man sooner that day.  
“You really never knew?”  
“No, I didn’t.”  
“I thought it was pretty obvious, but then again if you thought he was straight...”  
“So that’s why you didn’t like me?”  
“I knew it was not your fault, but I could not help feeling angry at you. He suffered a lot because of how he felt about you and I didn’t like to see him like that.”  
“I can understand that.”

Ryan looked at him a moment and saw something that he would have preferred not to see.  
“You felt something too, didn’t you?”  
Martin looked at him, shocked and then he said with great difficulty:  
“Yes, for a little while I... but I would never have done anything. I love Amanda.”  
He nodded toward the older man, understanding.  
“Don’t act weird with him ok? He would hate it if you acted different with him because of that.”  
“The only reason I would have acted different with him was if he was still in love with me and obviously seeing the way he blushes like a school girl every time you so much as touch him I would say he is pretty much over me.” Said Martin, amused.  
“Thank you.”  
“For what?”  
“For... well reacting so well about all of this and what you told him when he told you about us. I know it meant a lot to him.”

“So you don’t hate me anymore?”  
“I never hated you, but no I am not angry at you anymore.”  
“Great! Now I can tell you if you break Ben’s heart I will break your arm.” He said in a semi serious tone.  
“You broke his heart first so I don’t know if you are in a place to make such a threat.” He answered with a smile.  
“Yeah, it would be a bit hypocrite of me. You’re right. Still, treat him well. He deserves it.”  
“I will. Don’t worry.”  
When they joined Amanda and Ben in the living room they were both smiling and making joke to each other.

When the couple left a little later, Ryan sat on the sofa in Ben’s arms.  
“It went well, don’t you think?” He said looking up at his boyfriend face.  
“It went amazing.” Benedict answered smiling.  
“Ben I have something to tell you and you might end up being angry at me, but I don’t want to have secret from you.”  
 Ben tensed a little and Ryan sat up a little, still keeping his boyfriend arm around him.  
“Martin asked me why I looked like I didn’t like him the two times we met.”  
“When you were in the kitchen?”  
“Yes. I tried to tell him a half truth, but he didn’t understand so I had to tell him.”  
Benedict swallowed with difficulty.  
“What did you tell him?”  
“The truth. That I felt protective of you and I was angry at him for being the cause of you suffering so much.”  
“So he knows how I felt about him?”  
“Yes.”  
“How did he react?”  
“He was very surprised and he looked sorry to have caused you so much pain. He also... If I was more insecure I would not tell you this, but I think you deserve to know. He felt something for you too at some point. I don’t know what exactly and for how long, but you were not the only one. He said he would have never done anything because of Amanda, but he did feel something.”

Benedict was quiet for an entire minute, but it felt more like half an hour to Ryan.  
“Are you ok?”  
“Yes. I just... It’s a lot to take in.”  
“Are you angry with me?”  
“Yes and no. I am happy to know that he felt something too, but I don’t want things to change between us because he knows how I felt.”  
“Things won’t change. He told me. He said he would only have acted differently if you had still been in love with him, but that obviously seeing the way you act with me you are completely over him so there is no reason to act different.”  
Benedict opened his mouth to speak, but then smiled, amused.  
“Really?”  
“I believe his exact words were “based on the way he blushes like a school girl every time you so much as touch him””  
“I do NOT blush like a school girl.” Benedict protested ashamed.  
Ryan raised his eyebrow and made a face that clearly said: “You do a bit”.

He kissed him and said:  
“I don’t mind. I think it’s cute.”  
His boyfriend made a little grunt that sounded like a protest, but he kissed him again with more passion this time. A minute later Ryan broke the kiss out of breath to say:  
“I guess that means you’re not angry with me?”  
“You will be punished severely tonight, but until then no. I guess I am not angry.”  
The younger man smiled and kissed him again.

Later that night after he had been thoroughly _punished_ and he was lying in his lover arms he started to think about the day he had met Benedict 21 years ago. His life had gone from complete hell to great in a matter of days. He had saved him from the depression that would have surely set in because of the loneliness and constant bullying. He had saved him from numerous traumatizing and humiliating experiences he would have lived had he not become friends with him. He just could not imagine his life without him in it. They had known each other for so long he felt like Benedict was a part of him by now.

“You know I never really thanked you for what you did all those years ago.”  
In a sleepy tone Ben asked:  
“What I did?”  
“Saving me from those bullies, becoming my friend and presenting me to your friends. I was alone and going through hell. I don’t know if I would have survived school if you and your friends had not been there. You saved me. Thank you.”  
Ryan felt Benedict lips on his head, kissing him. The arms around him held him more tightly and the man whispered:  
“It was my pleasure.”

**Author's Note:**

> I could write a little sequel if people like the story and want it, but I doubt it will happen. lol


End file.
